12. Find My Bucket List from 2001

When I started this blog, I remembered that back in 2001, I had used an extra binder to make some sort of bucket list/scrapbook-type thing. After I got back from Florida, I went to my parents’ house and looked for it. It wasn’t too hard to find…even after all my moves, it was still in my bedroom. I really wanted to see what was on my list back then and what (if anything) I had accomplished since then.

There's 13 year old me in the middle!!

There’s 13 year old me in the middle!!

Reading the list itself is rather amusing…it provides a little peak into the mind of thirteen-year-old-me. Graduating from both high school and college were really important to me. So was being a cheerleader and going to prom. Some of the things on the list seem really dated. I listed that I wanted to go on MTV TRL Studios. Does that show even exist anymore?! I also wrote that I wanted to make my own mix tapesĀ or CDs and that I wanted to own a laptop some day. Owning a laptop was considered a big deal in 2001! I don’t even think my school had it’s laptop cart yet.

The one thing I always remembered from that list is that I wanted to keep a journal for five years straight. Well little me, I did you one better. I kept a journal for twelve years and I’m still going! In the beginning, I wrote mostly about things that happened during the day, but as I got older, I wrote more about how I felt about things. Every so often I go back and read it (it’s all online – heck yes!) and I am constantly amazed at how smart I sounded when I was younger. I don’t remember feeling that smart! And how on earth is my own advice still applicable five or eight years later?!

From my list of 50 things, I’ve accomplished 38. I’d say that’s pretty good considering that I nearly forgot about this list. Some of the things I HAVEN’T done include visiting all 50 states (only 21), meeting the President, and riding a horse. Oh, I also never got to go on TRL. Shucks.

Clearly my biggest regret.

I plan on adding some of these things to my list of things I’ve done…I definitely want to tell you all about the time I “met” Rachel Maddow. It’s a good one.

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I Suck at Blogging. And That’s Okay.

Taking a little break because Thanksgiving is a week late this year and it’s really throwing me off.

I think I suck at blogging. I think I suck at a lot of things like curling my hair and public speaking. I follow plenty of blogs and they seem to have so many followers and wonderful posts and I just constantly find myself comparing myself to them…not just my blog, but my whole life! It’s the twenty-something curse, I swear.

I started my first online journal back in the day before iPods existed. I didn’t post on any regular schedule and I didn’t feel bad about it because I was writing for me. But now that I suddenly have a “blog” with a “theme”, it’s like it’s some big deal.

So where is this all coming from? Well, for one thing, realizing that it’s Wednesday and I haven’t posted since Sunday and I don’t have anything lined up even though I’m out of town for definitely the next three weekends, possibly the next seven weekends in a row. The other “inspiration” behind this post is a recent College Prepster post about blogging motivation. She brought me back to where I need to be – writing for me and not caring who reads it.

Carly (The College Prepster) is one of the bloggers I follow. I don’t know when I first found her blog or HOW I first found her blog, but I think her’s is the first blog I started reading regularly. Everything else before that had been blog-style infotainment like The Frisky. In the time that I’ve been reading her blog, Carly has gone from college student to supporting herself with her blog and whatever else she’s got up her (perfectly patterned) sleeve. Since quitting her job to focus on her own projects, she has become SO much more open in her posts. It is so easy to make yourself seem like the perfect person online and yeah, there are posts that I read of Carly’s where I am so envious of her life…cute dog, cute apartment, cute clothes. She says her hair doesn’t cooperate, but I don’t believe her. But Carly frequently posts about the anxiety and stress of WORKING FOR YOURSELF IN YOUR TWENTIES. Remember folks, none of us have any clue what we’re doing! You. Me. College Prepster Carly.

Carly’s post about motivation came at the PERFECT time. I didn’t start writing this blog with the goal of becoming a famous blogger. I started this because I have this list of things I want to do and I wanted to document the experience somewhere other than Instagram. That is all.