34. Donate My Old Clothes

I have a very real fear of becoming a hoarder. I don’t want to wind up on some reality show, screaming at people that are throwing my trash out, so I actively try to clean and get rid of things on a regular basis. This was easier the past eight years because I was moving AT LEAST once a year. Now that I’ve got a “grown up job”, I’m staying in one place longer and it’s easier for things to pile up. Going through my list, I found that I’ve put a few things down that involve cleaning and getting rid of stuff.

There’s a fine line between having a lot of stuff and being a hoarder and I continually walk it. I have a lot of things in boxes at my parents’ house still – things from my room that were boxed up when I got “too old” for them, things boxed up from when my room was being painted, things boxed up from my first college apartment. I know what’s in some boxes – Beanie Babies, Baby Sitters Club books, pictures and mementos – but there are plenty of boxes that I don’t know what’s in them and I can only guess – clothes and homework most likely. My parents keep telling me to go through all this stuff but I’m only home for a few days at a time and looking through boxes in the basement isn’t what I want to spend my time doing. So then they ask if they can just throw them out but they can’t do that – I don’t know what’s in them and I need to see it before it gets thrown out!

I had a total hoarder-style breakdown once. I was thirteen or fourteen and yeah, I had a messy room, I was a teenager. My mom kept telling me to tidy up and go through my piles of stuff, but I hadn’t done anything. One day when my dad and I were out somewhere, my mom decided to do it herself. Her version of cleaning was to just throw everything out. When I came home and saw that my things were missing, I had what could only be described as a panic attack. I remember sitting on the floor of the garage, pulling things out of the trash. One of my friends had passed away a few months before and I was so scared that she had thrown out the binder we had drawn on and the notes we had passed in class. She did. I couldn’t find the notes, but I did manage to save the binder. It’s probably in my parents’ basement now.

I tend to keep things because of the memories associated with them. At some point in high school, I managed to get all of the smaller stuff into a shoebox. That’s completely fine. I have ticket stubs, a signed CD, and a hall pass written out at 8:46 am on September 11, 2001 in the box. My bigger issue is that I wind up hanging on to clothes and clothes take up space. I’m not just talking prom dresses and other important things – I have t-shirts, shorts, sweaters, and pants that no longer fit or I no longer wear that I keep just because of what I wore them to. My mom always questions why I still hang onto them – I have the memory, why do I need the items?

Earlier this month, I went through my dresser and closets and wound up with a pretty sizable pile of clothing that could be donated. I think I did my best to make decisions based on what I would wear. Another incentive was that a Plato’s Closet had just opened in Reading and I desperately needed money after my big Disney trip. I wound up bringing two huge bags to Plato’s, but they only bought a few things. That was the worst – I didn’t care about the money, but I wound up coming home with the stuff and it was hard to resist the urge to take things out of the bags!! Luckily, those bags made it over to Goodwill along with two others.

Clearly I have to work harder than the average person to make sure my living space is clean and organized, but in the past month I’ve made a lot of progress. I’m hoping to go through my clothes again and get rid of even MORE. Also, keep an eye out for a post about cleaning my closet and dresser at home!

I Suck at Blogging. And That’s Okay.

Taking a little break because Thanksgiving is a week late this year and it’s really throwing me off.

I think I suck at blogging. I think I suck at a lot of things like curling my hair and public speaking. I follow plenty of blogs and they seem to have so many followers and wonderful posts and I just constantly find myself comparing myself to them…not just my blog, but my whole life! It’s the twenty-something curse, I swear.

I started my first online journal back in the day before iPods existed. I didn’t post on any regular schedule and I didn’t feel bad about it because I was writing for me. But now that I suddenly have a “blog” with a “theme”, it’s like it’s some big deal.

So where is this all coming from? Well, for one thing, realizing that it’s Wednesday and I haven’t posted since Sunday and I don’t have anything lined up even though I’m out of town for definitely the next three weekends, possibly the next seven weekends in a row. The other “inspiration” behind this post is a recent College Prepster post about blogging motivation. She brought me back to where I need to be – writing for me and not caring who reads it.

Carly (The College Prepster) is one of the bloggers I follow. I don’t know when I first found her blog or HOW I first found her blog, but I think her’s is the first blog I started reading regularly. Everything else before that had been blog-style infotainment like The Frisky. In the time that I’ve been reading her blog, Carly has gone from college student to supporting herself with her blog and whatever else she’s got up her (perfectly patterned) sleeve. Since quitting her job to focus on her own projects, she has become SO much more open in her posts. It is so easy to make yourself seem like the perfect person online and yeah, there are posts that I read of Carly’s where I am so envious of her life…cute dog, cute apartment, cute clothes. She says her hair doesn’t cooperate, but I don’t believe her. But Carly frequently posts about the anxiety and stress of WORKING FOR YOURSELF IN YOUR TWENTIES. Remember folks, none of us have any clue what we’re doing! You. Me. College Prepster Carly.

Carly’s post about motivation came at the PERFECT time. I didn’t start writing this blog with the goal of becoming a famous blogger. I started this because I have this list of things I want to do and I wanted to document the experience somewhere other than Instagram. That is all.